


Series 5: The Rise and Fall of a Queen

by AmestIbovvered



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7669855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmestIbovvered/pseuds/AmestIbovvered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bea died, but with some miracle she was brought back to life. She's struggling to survive her wounds, but also what her new purpose is in life, and in the prison. It takes 3 months for her to get sent back to the prison, and the Bea Smith who returns is physically weak. With help from her friends, especially Allie, as well as Kaz protecting her from any of the girls that Bea has ever wronged, it seems she might make it out. But Governor Jake and Ferguson are still planning something, and Allie seems to have gotten in the middle of it all. Can Bea find her inner strength to pull through, and save everyone again? Or will the prison finally fall, taking everyone down with it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Love is a funny thing. Their are moments where it seems it transcends universes, realms, life and death itself. The love of a mother, of a friend, of a soul mate, all gives us humans great hope, but also leaves us vulnerable. In prison, whether the one created in our mind or our everyday reality, we find ourselves surrounded by four walls, with enemies at every corner, and our own demons fighting to break free. In this world, love can seem an impossible feat. Yet, the moments of joy, however brief they may be, are worth the sacrifices. And maybe, just maybe, when the sun is breaking free from the darkness, the light can find a home in the most desperate, and hopeless of people._

 

Three months had passed. Long, agonizing months of surgeries and physical therapy and almost dying over and over and over again. But every time she was flat lining, they worked a miracle and brought her back. But with each breath of life, Bea felt as if she was losing a part of herself. What remained, she wasn't sure if it was worth any of the trouble.

Just when the days started to blur and feel like an eternity, the doctor finally cleared her to return back to the prison. They couldn't do anything more for her.

The first month in the hospital was bearable, with the presence of Allie. Somehow the two had found one another. Bea swore she could feel a pull in her chest gravitating towards the blonde, and Allie- Allie was alive. She was alive and she was perfect. That was her last dying wish, and for some damn reason it was granted.

Bea couldn't speak for the first couple of weeks. She was just a body getting stitched up, like a teddy bear that had had all of the insides removed. After the first week, Bea stopped opening her eyes. One afternoon she managed to get enough strength to lift her body up, opening up about six of the recently closed wounds.

The doctors had a field day with that. They tied her down, not that she could do it again. That motion took everything out of her. Completely drained her. Bea slept for two entire days after, and woke to Will Jackson and Maxine.

Maxine had a wrap around her head, at least that's what Bea could make out. But she looked well, a bit pale but she was alive.

"Bea, you're awake," Will was the first to notice.

Maxine grabbed Bea's hand and squeezed it. "I needed to see you for myself. Bea, you ass hole, you don't try that shit again, you hear me? We've been through too much," Maxine can only hold a stern look for so long until her smile breaks free and tears start to flow.

"Bea, I'm- it's good to see you awake. With the two of you here now, they'll be stationing one of us guards here for awhile. I managed to get you both in the same room. Thought it might help prevent you from trying to rip the IV out," Will joked.

Bea's eyes moved back and forth between her two friends. Until then, she wasn't quite sure if she was even alive. But now she was around people she knew, people she felt close to- what did he mean by the two of us?

Bea pulled her head over to the side to what was before now an empty bed. Not anymore.

Bea's eyes started to well up. The heart monitor quickly started to build speed, almost to a worrying level. Bea swallowed hard. Her throat was so dry and sore and it had been some time since she had said anything. But until now, all the nurses and doctors questions were easily answered with a head nod.

"A-ai-all-ee," Bea's voice broke. She couldn't control the tears now.

Even with the barely whisper of the name, Allie turned to face Bea, a shit eating grin on her face.

Maxine moved over to sit beside Bea on the bed, facing Allie.

"Now I know neither of you can speak right now, but- you're here. Together. You both fought like hell and you made it. You're legends in the prison now. We're putting on a play, Juliet and Juliet in your honor. I have to go soon but, you two try to be good for a change, okay?" Maxine continues her grip on Bea, who still is in shock. But now, now she has something to fight for and Maxine thought the same thing.

She pulled into Bea's ear and whispered, "You fucking fight this. You don't lose this battle. You come home, to me and the girls. And, to Allie. You don't give up. Not this time."

She pulls away and Bea looks at Maxine with a hard look and nods. It's enough for Maxine. She drifts over to Allie and kisses her on the forehead and whispers something into her ear as well.

Maxine lingers at the door, looking at the two women. They are just staring at one another, but she could hear their voices. Hopefully, seeing Allie would be enough for Bea.

Will smiles at Maxine, and escorts her out of the room.

"They're a bloody miracle, those two. Both died, both came back. If that's not love- I don't know what is," Will shook his head, still remembering all the blood that was on the ground. Holding Bea's lifeless body as the ambulance pulled up- Ferguson, speechless. For the first time he had known the woman, he saw fear in her eyes. She was terrified, scared. Bea had won. But at what price?

"Is she going to be okay?" Maxine asks as they enter the elevator.

"Yeah, it looks like they both are going to make it. Bea still has a few surgeries lines up- but the anonymous donor seems to have an endless supply of money and demands the best for Bea. I wish I had an admirer like that," Will sighs.

"I don't think you'd want this one," Maxine raises her eyebrows, having a very good idea who the donor is, but wanting to keep it to herself. She knows Bea has fans, but only one person comes to mind who would put so much out so quickly and willingly.

It must be Ferguson. The Freak.


	2. Chapter 2

Bea heard that voice, an angel speaking so clearly from the fog. "The doctor says you keep on trying to die on him. Are we really going to continue this game, Bea?" Allie immediately rushes over to Bea when they stroll her back in from a checkup.

Bea hisses at Allie. "Tell the fuckers that I am perfectly capable of sitting up on my own. They say I can leave the bed in another week. Do you know what my ass is going to look like by then?"

"It's not your ass I'm worried about. When was the last time they bathed you?" Allie perked up at the last part.

"You minx. If you cause another one of my stitches to pop, they'll move you out of here. And I'm pretty sure under the list of activities I'm banned from, _that_ is on the list," Bea blushed, not being able to hide the embarrassment of the topic.

"Oh, come on Bea. Where's your adventurous spirit? Your legs are just fine. You just have to lie down and relax and I'll do the heavy lifting," Allie's smirk could be seen for miles.

"It's not that I don't want that, Allie. You know- you know what that meant to me. It's just that, well, I want to enjoy it again. And right now I can't. It's as simple as that. I'm sorry," Bea looked away.

"Don't be sorry. I knew- I know it's too soon. I want you to heal back up. We've got ten years for that, right? I'll wait forever for you," Allie kisses Bea on the cheek.

When the nurse comes in again to give them their medication, Allie insists on giving Bea a bath.

"It's not regulation for our patients to give each other baths. I'm sorry, Miss Novak," the nurse said.

"I know, it's just- she's not just my girlfriend, she's the love of my life, and she's been through hell. Hasn't been able to sleep through any of the nights. Think of it as therapy for her, and it gives you some time off. Clock out a few minutes early, not a bad trade, no?" Allie was good at negotiations, and this was an easy solution. The nurse took a look at Bea, and cursed to herself.

"Dammit, Allie. You get 30 minutes tonight, okay? I'll leave the supplies, and no one will disturb the room, I promise. Don't get her too- you know. I'll show you how to move her without causing her too much pain. It's not going to be easy to do by yourself," the nurse explained in detail what Allie was supposed to do, where to avoid, what areas she couldn't get damp. The list seemed to go on forever.

"We don't have this many rules in prison," Allie shot at the nurse, who had quickly warmed up to Allie.

"What are you two in prison for anyway? They won't tell us but we got a bet going on you two were some Bonnie and Clyde duo," the nurse took a long look at Bea, who had been dozing off for most of the discussion.

"You've never heard of Bea Smith? Attempted to kill her husband, successfully murdered Jacs Holt with a pen. Escaped this very hospital and then shot Brayden Holt dead. And me, I've been mad about her since I saw her on the telly at Brayden's trial. Was part of the Red Right Hand group, inspired by her taking the law into her own hands. She means everything to me. She's fucked up, but hell, aren't we all?" Allie was beaming, proud to talk about Bea and her accomplishments. She knew to Bea they weren't seen as anything but violent acts, but Allie didn't mind about gushing on her girlfriend's past.

"That's the Bea Smith? She looks so much older than I thought she would. Guess she must've made the wrong enemy," the nurse shook her head and left the room.

Just thinking of Ferguson made Allie's hands ball up into fists. When she got back to prison, she was going to end her, once and for all.

A soft knock on the door and the nurse rolled in all of the bath supplies.

"Just leave it in the corner and I'll get it tomorrow. Don't be afraid if you end up getting some discharge from a few of the wounds. You'll know if something is off, and you call someone in right away. Just tell them-"

Allie interrupted, "We'll be fine. Go on, you. Enjoy your evening. Tell the story of how you've been face to face with a legend, and her girlfriend. Not mate, but proper girlfriend, yeah?"

The nurse was apprehensive to leave, but had somewhere to be.

Bea was just waking up from her nap. "Whatever they are giving me really knocks me out, but the doctors don't realize I don't care about the pain as long as I'm with you."

Allie smiled. "Well, how about we wash you up before dinner. It's date night, minus the champagne and dresses. Hospital gowns are much easier to get  off, anyway," Allie winked at Bea and pulled over the tray.

"What do you got there?" Bea asks, wiping her eyes to try and help them adjust to the light.

"Just a little something to prepare you for our evening out," Allie walks over to Bea and moves her hands to her back where the tie is on her gown. She gets the first knot out and is about to work on the second when Bea pushes her off.

"The fuck are you doing?" Bea shouts.

"I was just trying to get the knot out so I can help you bathe is all. Jeez Bea. What the hell do you think I was doing?"

"I didn't ask for you to do that. I don't want to have a bathe. You just leave it alone, ok?" Bea snarls.

"No. Bea, I'm trying to help you. You'll feel better after. I'll be careful not to hurt you. I just want to make you feel as comfortable as I can," Allie says.

"But you didn't ask me. You just thought, hey, I haven't seen her naked in a couple of weeks, lets strip her down so she can't say no. Is that all you want from me now? All you're missing from me is a good screw, that it?" Bea starts to lose it, cursing and thrashing and all Allie can hear is the monitor going crazy and so she kisses Bea on the lips to shut her up. And it works. Right away Bea calms down, the monitor stops beeping, and Bea relaxes.

Allie moves away.

"Fuck you. What the hell is this about? If you-if you for one second think that's all I want from you then maybe you don't deserve me. I fell in love with Bea Smith, not her body, but her mind and soul. And yeah, after we made love, I'd never felt so- I can't even think of a word to describe it. I've fucked a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of fucking people but you were the only person that meant anything to me, and that's because I loved you first. So whatever this is, you tell me the truth. Why won't you let me see you naked?"

Bea swallowed hard. She sucked back the tears forming in her eyes. Honesty. She forgot that she could be honest with Allie, no matter what.

"You haven't, umm- you haven't seen what I look like. My stomach, it's- it's not right. It looks like shit, and I don't want you to have to look at it and pity me. I'm sure it looks worse than it feels, but I'm-"

"You're scared. You're scared that I'll be scared and, baby, that's so sweet. But it's a part of you now, and what's a part of you is a part of me. We are 100% in this together. Your scars don't make you weak, they show your strength. They show your stories, your life. We're survivors, and with that comes scars and baggage," Allie kisses Bea on the lips.

Bea sits her head back against her pillow. She is disgusted at herself for what she said to Allie. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. The medicine, it's making my head foggy and I can't always control- I love you, you know that, right? That I love you, so much it hurts."

Allie takes a good look at Bea. "I know. If you don't want me to see it, I respect that. Just, talk to me, okay? Don't bottle it up and blow up like that."

Bea nods and pulls her hands behind her to try and finish the last knot. Allie, ever so carefully, crawls up on the bed over Bea and moves her hands again to Bea's back. With her help, Bea is able to undo the knot and her gown quickly loosens. A quiet moan escapes Bea's mouth as Allie's body is inches above hers, so close...

Allie gives Bea a look, and without saying anything, Bea makes it clear she's ready. She's okay.

Allie's fingers brush over Bea's back. It shouldn't bring Bea to holding her breath, but it does. The cloth pulls off so easily, and Allie is left holding it tightly in her hand. She drops it on the bed, with her gaze remaining on Bea's face.

Bea is completely naked, lying on the bed, but she doesn't feel like she is. She once felt so vulnerable, hating her body. Squirming at anyone's touch. She bites the bottom of her lip, and slides down on the bed, underneath Allie, until she is as flat as she can be.

Allie reaches over to grab the cloth and wets in it the bowl. The water is still warm. She squirts a few drops of soap on the towel. Her hips are right above Bea's, but she isn't putting any weight down. She's hovering, making sure she's not hurting Bea. Her knees aren't in the most comfortable position, but she can deal.

"Head first, alright? You let me know if you feel any pain at all. Other than that, close your eyes. Relax for a moment, Bea," Allie says as she pulls up Bea's head and starts to rub behind her neck. She still hasn't looked down at Bea's stomach. Not until-not until it's the right moment. Not until she's sure Bea is alright about it.

"You're shaking. Are you cold?" Allie hesitates, her blue eyes turning serious.

"No. No I'm fine. Just think one of my stitches might have popped is all," Bea lets out a wince, which has Allie quickly pulling her body up in fear.


	3. Chapter 3

She stares down at Bea's abdomen, for the first time. Her mouth is slightly open, trying to find where Bea is talking about. But she doesn't see any blood. She just sees- gnarled skin. Skin that has been tightened and threaded and yanked around to fit together.

As Allie looks, she knows her face shows what she's thinking. Water splashes on her lips, and the moment is interrupted by Bea having a go at her.

"You should have seen your face. Man, I got you good. Allie, hey are you alright?" Bea grabs Allie's arm.

"Yeah, no, no I'm fine. You're a shit though. Bea, it doesn't even look that bad," Allie fibs.

Bea lets out a snort. "Sure, babe. I can promise you however it looks, it hurts ten times worse. But, hey, I'm used to pain."

Allie takes her pointer finger and starts to draw on Bea's stomach. Around the scars, connected them all, just barely touching but enough so that Bea can feel the almost normalcy of the task. The human contact, touching something so rotten looking, it sparked a pleasure and hope in Bea that only Allie had ever made her feel.

"At this point, we will never be fit for our date tonight," Bea teases Allie. She tried to close her eyes and picture herself somewhere else, but she kept finding herself staring at Allie. Her escapism was her, not walking on the beach or looking down at Paris on the Eiffel Tower. When Bea dreamt, it was only ever of Allie, and her blue eyes, and her smile...

"Now, Bea. You can't rush a masterpiece," Allie brushes her off as she continues to move her finger along Bea's stomach.

By the time the night nurse came in the check on them, Allie was snuggled in a ball next to Bea, who was still awake.

"Oh, hey Nurse Mary. How's Allie's charts looking?" Bea asks, having had many late night chats now with this nurse.

"She's recovering quite well," Nurse Mary answers as she checks Bea's vitals.

"How soon?" Bea pushes out, not wanting to hear the answer.

"A couple of days, maybe a week. No more than that. Sorry, Bea," Nurse Mary pats the bedside.

"I thought as much. Well, thanks," Bea sighs, and puts her arm around Allie. She'll need to take in every second she has left with Allie, drink it up, store it for those days when she wants to scream and tear at her stitches. Allie had helped her through so many of those days already, where the pain took hold and Bea became vicious, just like she had tonight. She still held onto so many things, but now she just wanted to hold onto Allie. Tonight, she was present, in her arms. She was real. She was real.


	4. Chapter 4

The decision to return Bea to the prison at night was one she easily agreed to. The less eyes on her, the better. She could walk now, but only for so long. Her wounds were mostly healed up, and the scars were less terrifying to her now. But she didn't feel strong. Her stomach felt uneasy as they rolled up to the building. Home sweet home.

The guards opened the back door and helped Bea down. Despite her condition, they still chained her up as if she could escape. As if she had somewhere to run to- All she wanted was to be with Allie again. See Maxine, Booms, Liz...

Maxine had kept her company a handful of visits at the hospital. And with each visit, more color came back into her face. Her treatments were working.

Will was also there almost every week, both on guard duty and when he was off of work. He snuck her in some goodies, and even managed to bring her a beer to sip on one day.

Franky popped in as well, sometimes with Bridget, most of the time on her own. Those were the days that were the most bearable. Bea just opened up about everything to Franky, and Franky listened and teased her. But she got it, and soon Franky opened up to Bea and without either one of them wanting to say it, they became close friends.

"So you're headed back tomorrow then? Never thought I'd say it but, I'm gonna miss you Red," Franky playfully hit Bea on the shoulder.

"Sure, sure. Well you know where I live, you should come on by. I'm free most afternoons, I suppose I can schedule you in. I'll have to ask my secretary, of course," Bea joked with her.

"Wow, Red. Calling your girlfriend your secretary now, are we? The only thing you'll be scheduling me around is your afternoons with Allie, going at it in your room. I'm sure you're thrilled to see her again," Franky smiled.

"Yeah, yeah I am. They wouldn't let her- I mean I talked to her on the phone but they wouldn't let her see me. And- the last month she- it's probably just me, but it seems she's distant. I guess I'll see tomorrow," Bea walked over to the mirror, and looked away at her reflection. How quickly she had aged in 3 months. Her arms had lost a lot of the muscle, her eyes had bags under them, her hair- she couldn't even brush it properly.

"I brought you something that might get your spirits up," Franky threw a box on Bea's bed. It was red hair dye. "Pretty sure it's the right color. I've got a keen eye for that shit, what can I say," Franky sat down on the bed.

"I knew you were into me. Couldn't stay away long, could you. Have a thing for gingers? Or for girls who beat the shit out of you?" Bea turned to Franky, enjoying the banter.

"Psh, you're not even a real ginger, it doesn't count. And no, I am happily in love with another woman, thank you. We're making it work. You should talk to her, she's good at what she does, Bea. She cares, you know that," Franky looks up at Bea.

"I know. Fuck it's not that I don't trust her I just- I mean even with Allie and Maxine- they don't get it. You and I, we're cursed with our past. Having to relive those moments over and over and over again. Trying to keep the anger from boiling over. Lashing out at the people we care most about. We don't deserve Bridget and Allie, do we?" Bea sits down next to Franky and kicks the floor.

"I reckon we don't, no. You still made me a promise, that you'd look after my girls. I know it's hard, and I know you're going back and they are going to treat you different, but Bea, they need you. You still have power there, trust me. I didn't respect you because you beat the shit out of me, or because I was afraid of you, but because you had heart and bravery. You stood up for the right thing, and that's why everyone backed you. Not because you murdered anyone, but because you were a leader to look up to, to fight for. Be that Bea. Don't fall into despair and pity. Be the Queen, who doesn't need the title of top dog to win her own wars," Franky looks at her watch and gets off the bed.

"Shit, I gotta run but I'll pop by this week and see you at the prison. Red, be careful. And, do something with that hair of yours, it looks like shit. I don't care how hot you are, Allie won't put any fingers anywhere near you with that mop up there," Franky teases Bea, and heads out the door.

Bea grabs for the box, and heads over to the sink.

It takes her longer than she wishes to admit, and she has to sit down almost a dozen times during the process, but the pain and exhaustion is worth it. And Franky was right, she knew exactly what color to pick.


	5. Chapter 5

The prison looked the same, but it had a different feel to it. The details seemed more blurry. "Was it tough getting all my blood off the ground? Guess it's true what they say, a part of you never leaves prison," Bea tried to break the silence to the guard, but he didn't give any notice of even hearing her. She didn't recognize him at all. Must have some new screws in here.

The screw brought her down the hall towards her unit, but then took a turn, heading to a different unit. Kaz's.

"You got five minutes. Make it speedy," the guard shoved Bea into the unit and closed the gate behind her.

Kaz sat on the couch, surrounded by her girls. Bea should've expected this. What did she really think was going to happen when she came back?

Kaz motioned for her girls to leave them alone, and they all went to their rooms. Now it was just the two of them, staring. Who was going to make the first move?

"Come in, sit, have a cup of tea. Relax, you're back home," Kaz gestured to the seat in front of her, and Bea scooted over to her, not really having a choice.

"Not really thirsty, but appreciate the gesture. God, I wish everyone would stop calling this shit hole home," Bea sat back, trying to find a less painful position in the chair.

"You alright there, Bea? How you healing up? Thirteen? Or was it Fourteen times she stabbed you? Got screwed by a screw, how almost poetic, don't you think?" Kaz pushes her feet off the table and gets up on her feet.

"Wanna count? Does one more make me more of a survivor or something? What do you want me to say, Kaz? Do you want my blessing? Do you want me to beg the girls to listen to you, because I want nothing to do with your position, if that's what you're worried about. I said I was done, and I meant it," Bea stays in the seat, while Kaz circles around.

"I'm a good top dog. I am. I know I am. But- I never wanted it. I never wanted this. I don't shit on the girls like you did, pitting them against each other, terrorizing them, but sometimes-" Kaz holds her tongue, not really knowing what she was going to say.

"I get it, I became the thing I hated the most. I became the abuser, the violence, the fear. Fuck, what do you want from me? Huh? You want a go, is that it Kaz?" Bea smashes her hand on the table, startling a few of the girls but not Kaz.

"It wouldn't be a fair fight," Kaz let out.

"As if that had ever stopped you from trying to- You know what, I don't want to deal with this right now. I don't have to deal with this right now. Unless the top dog is ordering me to, then I guess I have no choice, do I?" Bea shoots back, wondering how much longer it would be until the guard came back. The medication was already wearing off, and she could feel her body start to shake.

"You're fuckin unreal, Bea. You know, all I wanted to say was that yeah, you scared the shit out of a lot of these women, a lot of the girls. But, and it blows my mind, but a lot of them respect you. They look up to you, I suppose a lot like I once did," Kaz walks up to Bea and squats down to her level.

"The crown is heavy, isn't it? Weighs you down little by little, with all the fights and trying to keep everyone happy. Have you lost it yet, Kaz? Have you bashed in someone's head yet? I know how Juice and the Boys can be with new blood. They respecting the new Top Dog? It's not a burden I want to share again, so if that's what you intend with this, then no. I just want to try and survive another 6 months without getting shivved or stabbed or hung or drowned or losing someone else I care about. I don't need to be a part of anything that will fuck with me or my girls," Bea almost spits in Kaz's face. They are face to face now, and old wounds are opening up again.

"Your girls, huh? You sure about that? You've been gone for awhile now, Bea. Things have changed. The prison isn't what is used to be. With the new Governor- I get it. We haven't seen eye to eye for awhile now. But I'm not asking for you to fight for me, just to stand with me. Help me. God, can you think of someone else for two seconds?" Kaz stared at Bea, not blinking.

"Bea, shit, shit. You're really- " Allie opened the gate and ran over to Bea. Kaz backed away, letting the two reunite. Allie tenderly ran her fingers over Bea's cheek, and helped her to her feet.

"Hey, my beautiful girl. Yeah, the rumors are true. I'm back in the flesh, or whatever is left of me that is," Bea joked but the touch made her tremble. That first month in the hospital, neither of them could barely function on their own. Now-now she barely remembered the taste of Allie's lips, the smell of her hair-

"Kaz, we'll take later, yeah?" Allie glared at her old friend. Kaz shook her head but agreed.

"Fine. You take her back. Bea, you're under my protection, just don't fuck it up, okay? Sit back, relax, enjoy the scenery. Take care of her," Kaz grabbed Allie's hand for a brief second and let go.

Allie and Bea left the unit, right as the guard was walking up to them. He locked the gate behind them, and escorted them halfway back to their unit when he got a call on his radio. "You two, stay put. I'll have someone come by." He strolled off, leaving the two almost in the complete dark of the hallway.

"Well that's new," Bea stared off at the direction the guard ran off in, not understanding how he could just leave them, at night, outside of their unit unattended.

"Kaz being nice to you, never thought I'd see that day. Both my mums hugging it out," Allie ignored Bea's comment, just happy to get some alone time before they went back to see everyone.

"She thinks I'm weak, that's all. She fucking thinks I can't-" Bea grabs for the wall for support but Allie catches her.

"I got you. I got you," Allie holds onto Bea, checking around to make sure the corridor was empty.

Bea shoves Allie off her and slides her back against the wall, falling to the ground. "She's right. I'm pathetic. I can't even- I can barely piss by myself Allie. I am just going to be a burden on you. You deserve better. This isn't a life- to hold my hand and carry me," Bea hits her head on the wall.

Allie slides down next to Bea. She's silent for a few minutes. The two just sitting next to one another in the quiet.

"I love you, you idiot. I held my breath for 3 months, waiting for that phone call that you didn't make it. I started building up my own life here, my own credit. I'm pretty close with Booms now. Maxine- I get it. You and her, I get it. Liz- all of them, they took me in. Didn't ask twice about it. Your friends, they love you too. They missed you. But if you think for one second that they will look down at you because you have scars. Because you need someone to help you with a chair, or get dressed. Then you're more fucked up than I thought. We all have low moments, Bea. Take it from me, you can either let it drown you, or you can rise back up and fight for something," Allie lightly kicked Bea's foot with hers, trying to lighten the mood.

"Or someone? That's all I thought about, is seeing you again. That's all that helped me through the pain and agony and numbing. Is that you were real, not just a figment of my imagination. I don't know how to operate without my fists, isn't that pathetic? I don't want to feel weak, but I have moments when I'm with you, were I feel more alive than I have in a long time. You don't make me weak, you make me want to be better," Bea looks up at the ceiling, feeling as if the weight of the world was already coming down on her. The prison, it wasn't a safe place. She never felt safe anywhere really, not when she was with Harry, not even before that. But as she had that foreboding feeling the night Ferguson arrived at the prison months before, she felt that same sensation the moment she walked off the van.

"Are you proposing, Bea? If you are- you have to wait until my hairdresser returns. See, a long time ago she promised she'd do my hair for my wedding. As you can see, I've let it go and I know when she returns she'll give me hell for it. Problem is, I love it when she growls at me," Allie taunts Bea, who is still looking up at the ceiling, but brings her eyesight back down to Allie.

Bea smiled, for the first time in forever it seemed. Allie always could break through the cracks, the barriers.

"Well, you seen my hair lately? The hairdresser is back in business," Bea chided in. She took a deep breath and rested her head on Allie's shoulder.

"Yeah, it looks bitchin. Brings back a bit of life into you," Allie suggests.

They both found each other's hand and grabbed it. "We'll figure it out, I promise you Bea. We're survivors. You and me, it's meant to be. It has to be, because- just is. We came back to life for one another. I'm never leaving your side, ever again."

"Good. That's good. Because being with a blonde, I hear it makes me look 10 years younger," Bea closed her eyes, the strain of the day slowly residing.

"Only 10 years? My milf status is going to have to be updated then," Allie says as she holds on tight to Bea.

They waited for hours it seemed, until Will found them asleep in each other's arms, and scooped up Bea to bring them back to the ward.

"Thanks, Allie. For being with her. If you ever need anything- let me know. Watch her back. Kaz isn't as strong of a top dog as she thinks she is and Bea- Bea has a lot of enemies," Will warned her as they came to their unit.

Everyone had fallen asleep at the table, waiting for Bea's arrival. They heard the gate open, and woke up but Will quickly silenced them.

"She's asleep. You can celebrate tomorrow morning, alright?" Will tells the group as he walks over to put her down in her bed.

"Come on, she'd want us to wake her up, yeah? I want to see the scars. Mr. Jackson, can't we just pop in and say hello?" Booms asked, disappointed that they couldn't have a proper welcoming home party. She had picked out the music and everything.

Liz and Maxine both shushed Boomer at the same time. "Now, now Booms. We got plenty of time to celebrate with her. Let her sleep so tomorrow we can party all day long. Alright?" Liz headed off to her bed, and Doreen, Maxine, and Sonia followed suit.

Allie walked out of Bea's room, yawning.

"She okay?" Maxine asks. It had been a couple of weeks since she had been able to visit her in the hospital.

"She's alright. Just tired I think. She's still recovering, so we are all going to have to step up our game. Stick together, help her however we can because you know she's not going to ask for it," Allie tells them the truth.

"Why don't you get your boyfriend to take care of her, Governor Jake? Tell him and he'll have her slotted, that way you two can-"

"-Booms, shut it. Allie, she doesn't mean it. She's just tired and grumpy, isn't that right Booms?" Maxine glares at Boomer and she snarls back but shuts up on the subject.

"Sorry- sorry. I just noticed he calls you into his office a lot-I'm not the only one who notices, okay? I was just- sorry, Allie. Good night everyone," Boomer headed off to bed, talking to herself.

"She's not wrong, you know. If you're going to have an affair, at least get something out of it. Then, it doesn't matter what anyone says behind your back. But- Bea's a good person, if I had to choose, it would be simple," Sonia advises Allie, quietly so only she can hear but still Allie felt cold after she left.

Everyone was gone, in their own rooms, and Allie just wanted to throw up. She rushed into her room, closing the door, and vomited in the toilet.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi! Sorry it's been almost 2 weeks since my last post. I'm going to try my best to post a couple of chapters every week from here on out. I've written a LOT on this story, and most of it is for later chapters so I'm just trying to put it all together to make it cohesive and as best for you lot as I can. Hope you are enjoying the story, and unfortunately, as is with Wentworth, enjoy the happy chapters now because things are going to get serious and dark quickly.

Bea wakes up to Allie's body wrapped around hers. She doesn't remember how she got to her room, but she knows she's holding back a scream. Even in Allie's hold, Bea still wakes from a nightmare. She's sweating uncomfortably a lot, and slips out of Allie's reach, ever so gently. She doesn't want to wake the sleeping angel next to her.

Allie readjusts herself on the bed, waking up as soon as Bea moves away to the sink.

"Mornin," Allie mumbles with a smile. She's resting on her arm, and the sun is just hitting the room. The warmth of the sun feels so nice. Bea had missed it. She had missed so much.

She finishes throwing water on her face and starts stripping. Her shirt is soaked, and one of her scars is bleeding just a tiny bit. Allie beckons her over to the bed, and Bea goes to her. She starts kissing her belly, and Bea's head tilts to the ceiling, biting her lower lip. Trying to keep the moans from escaping her mouth.

A knock on the door brings the two back to reality.

"Shit," Bea looks around but all her clothes aside from what she was wearing were in a bag ready to be washed. She looks down at Allie, who, of course, was also not wearing anything but her bra and panties.

"Move over-quick" she tells Allie, who is enjoying this quiet panic in Bea's eyes. She moves over and grabs the sheet to cover herself up, following Bea's lead.

"Alright, you can come in," Bea calls out, and the door quickly opens, Boomer leading the pack, followed by Doreen, Liz, Maxine, and Sonia.

"Oh-aye if you two needed more time, I mean make a freakin do not disturb sign or something, oh but I woulda still knocked the door down, Bea!" Boomer rans up and is about to squeeze the life out of Bea when she puts up her hand.

"Hey Booms. I'm happy to see you too, but can you find me a shirt first? Please?" Bea asks politely and Booms stops in her tracks, and nods.

"Yeah, yeah of course. Be right back, Bea. I missed ya," Boomer tosses everyone to the side as she goes to exit the room.

"You lot couldn't wait until I got out of bed?" Bea tries to act annoyed, but seeing everyone crammed in her room, she can't help but feel the love.

"You know Booms. I'd imagine it was a lot like Christmas mornin for her parents. The moment she wakes up, she's up and she knocked on all of our doors, saying we gotta see how Bea is. We gotta say hi," Doreen answered, crossing her arms. "Glad your back, Bea. Glad you made it."

"That's our Bea, she can survive anything," Maxine smiles.

"We both can, Maxine. Thank you. Truly, for the first time I think I'm happy to be back here, with everyone," Bea's heart almost hurts from everyone looking so happy to see her. These were her friends-her family. All people she had, at one point or another, wronged. Yet, here they were, genuinely happy to see her back, alive.

"Sure you are Bea. You've got lots to catch up on. You know what can happen in three months in this place. But you enjoy your morning. We're just happy to have you back," Liz says, her eyes glistening, holding back tears.

Boomer comes back in and tosses Bea a shirt. Bea tries to as quickly as she can put it on, but her friends still see enough to know she has to be in pain.

"Blimey, Bea. How many stitches you get?" Boomer asks bluntly.

"Enough. What, you dig chicks with scars now too, Booms?" Bea jokes and mockingly punches Boomer in the arm. "Just be careful when you hug me, you're going to try and be as gentle as possible, right?" Bea opens her arms up and Boomer squeezes hard at first, almost instantly forgetting what Bea had just said. Bea lets out a grunt, and Boomer lets up the hug a little, but doesn't let her free for a good minute.

By the time she does, Boomer's crying.

"Oh, Booms, I'm okay. I couldn't leave ya, not like that. I love you too damn much. Maxine tells me you've been keeping real good care of her while I've been gone. Thank you for that. I mean it," Bea grabs Boomer's hand and squeezes it as hard as she can, and Boomer bends back over and gives Bea another hug, her tears flowing freely now.

"Hey, I feel left out now, don't I get a hug Booms?" Allie tries to distract Boomer, knowing Bea must be in some pain from the hug.

"Yeah, yeah alright. You're only in your bra though- urm I don't want it to be like I'm feeling you up or nothing-" Boomer holds up her hands, and looks away.

"Fine then, I'll get on you," Allie jumps out of the bed and jumps on Boomer, who is now hysterically laughing and almost loses her balance for a moment.

"I get a whole show and everything. You shouldn't have," Bea teases everyone, as she pulls the sheets off. She's swimming in Boomers shirt, but it covers up enough that she feels comfortable sitting on the bed and watching her friends laughing at Allie and Boomer.

"Welcome home, Bea," Allie calls down from Boomer, as she wraps her legs around and tightens herself onto her friend.

Bea is laughing so hard, she has to put a hand on her stomach to try and keep herself together. It hurts, but it's a pain she can live with. She's home. Finally, she has a home.


End file.
